You're my little dorito
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
