This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Watching her eat just hurts me
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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