Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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