Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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