do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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