how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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