my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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