I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Randomize
