thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
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