theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
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