I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
