Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Randomize
