i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
we're chasing vodka with high fives
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
