so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
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