i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
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She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
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