"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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