Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
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Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
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Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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