He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
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I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
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I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
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