you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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