Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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