I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Randomize
