you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
is it fun? or sober?
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