are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize