Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
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