Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
