Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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