Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
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Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
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C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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