So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
