Texts From Last Night

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  (586): View more from Michigan

  the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable

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  (586): the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable http://tfl.nu/6hw3
  Replies (32) Good night (1283) Bad night (1915)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.

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  (815): There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick. http://tfl.nu/npkp
  Replies (43) Good night (8138) Bad night (896)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.

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  (401): What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy. http://tfl.nu/6xxv
  Replies (25) Good night (8485) Bad night (1149)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund

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  (814): moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund http://tfl.nu/o6j0
  Replies (5) Good night (2491) Bad night (1051)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."

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  (781): She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared." http://tfl.nu/t3p1
  Replies (3) Good night (2027) Bad night (1170)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.

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  (860): no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed. http://tfl.nu/hsf7
  Replies (8) Good night (3904) Bad night (1273)
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.

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  (902): FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk. http://tfl.nu/vuiq
  Replies (10) Good night (2958) Bad night (1344)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.

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  (303): She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub. http://tfl.nu/e0e1
  Replies (4) Good night (3102) Bad night (904)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed

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  (630): the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed http://tfl.nu/eaof
  Replies (5) Good night (831) Bad night (1677)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball

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  (724): Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball http://tfl.nu/n4gl
  Replies (5) Good night (954) Bad night (670)
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  (931): View more from Tennessee

  I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment

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  (931): I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment http://tfl.nu/k0uz
  Replies (2) Good night (909) Bad night (388)
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding

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  (416): Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding http://tfl.nu/gcol
  Replies (0) Good night (437) Bad night (261)
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  (760): View more from California

  Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow

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  (760): Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow http://tfl.nu/8sxf
  Replies (2) Good night (586) Bad night (553)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship

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  (515): I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship http://tfl.nu/py1y
  Replies (1) Good night (888) Bad night (303)
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  (518): View more from New York

  Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day

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  (518): Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day http://tfl.nu/4jpm
  Replies (1) Good night (360) Bad night (219)

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