Texts From Last Night

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  (626): View more from California

  What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?

  (1-626): View more from California

  You have mice?

  (626): View more from California

  no why?

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  (626): What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans? (1-626): You have mice? (626): no why? http://tfl.nu/7zgo
  Replies (15) Good night (3841) Bad night (981)
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?

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  (740): Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong? http://tfl.nu/7sw3
  Replies (13) Good night (3994) Bad night (892)
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  (209): View more from California

  kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.

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  (209): kindergarten is hard when you're hung over. http://tfl.nu/68v6
  Replies (23) Good night (5459) Bad night (1009)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.

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  (419): His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him. http://tfl.nu/wimg
  Replies (60) Good night (1195) Bad night (3412)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  u sound so gay right now

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  (617): I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me. (978): u sound so gay right now http://tfl.nu/zm49
  Replies (35) Good night (7158) Bad night (1307)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.

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  (859): And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues. http://tfl.nu/sbd6
  Replies (9) Good night (2137) Bad night (1600)
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  (281): View more from Texas

  my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family

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  (281): my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family http://tfl.nu/olwi
  Replies (7) Good night (3454) Bad night (1183)
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  (310): View more from California

  Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.

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  (310): Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius. http://tfl.nu/qlyj
  Replies (30) Good night (1836) Bad night (4560)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.

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  (919): I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep. http://tfl.nu/o9nw
  Replies (12) Good night (2538) Bad night (1502)
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.

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  (910): It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend. http://tfl.nu/x0gc
  Replies (10) Good night (1975) Bad night (1363)
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  (905): View more from Ontario

  Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.

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  (905): Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now. http://tfl.nu/gjj1
  Replies (4) Good night (694) Bad night (2879)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.

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  (+44): I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy. http://tfl.nu/urw4
  Replies (4) Good night (647) Bad night (545)
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  (928): View more from Arizona

  Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.

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  (928): Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week. http://tfl.nu/3dmv
  Replies (6) Good night (1586) Bad night (492)
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  (760): View more from California

  I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.

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  (760): I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays. http://tfl.nu/jyu4
  Replies (4) Good night (806) Bad night (445)
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  (204): View more from Manitoba

  when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage

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  (204): when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage http://tfl.nu/us4q
  Replies (0) Good night (597) Bad night (254)

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