Texts From Last Night

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  (850): View more from Florida

  it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.

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  (850): it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco. http://tfl.nu/l4az
  Replies (11) Good night (550) Bad night (2740) Order T-Shirt
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!

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  (502): WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?! http://tfl.nu/ajcv
  Replies (16) Good night (1100) Bad night (4632) Order T-Shirt
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.

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  (503): the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me. http://tfl.nu/obxv
  Replies (38) Good night (5291) Bad night (787) Order T-Shirt
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck

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  (401): you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck http://tfl.nu/4wd4
  Replies (28) Good night (5709) Bad night (884) Order T-Shirt
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  (818): View more from California

  ...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?

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  (818): ...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!? http://tfl.nu/yk7e
  Replies (19) Good night (553) Bad night (4718) Order T-Shirt
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  (573): View more from Missouri

  just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.

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  (573): just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist. http://tfl.nu/hmuv
  Replies (37) Good night (8128) Bad night (920) Order T-Shirt
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  (818): View more from California

  I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.

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  (818): I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them. http://tfl.nu/l7o1
  Replies (20) Good night (1144) Bad night (5970) Order T-Shirt
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.

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  (503): Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab. http://tfl.nu/if5q
  Replies (14) Good night (708) Bad night (3262) Order T-Shirt
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?

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  (519): Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin? http://tfl.nu/eyam
  Replies (14) Good night (2776) Bad night (868) Order T-Shirt
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar

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  (403): there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar http://tfl.nu/sljc
  Replies (13) Good night (1244) Bad night (387)
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  (936): View more from Texas

  im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done

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  (936): im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done http://tfl.nu/rjb2
  Replies (2) Good night (706) Bad night (436) Order T-Shirt
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....

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  (303): As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak..... http://tfl.nu/pe8z
  Replies (1) Good night (867) Bad night (346) Order T-Shirt
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  (224): View more from Illinois

  Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.

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  (224): Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test. http://tfl.nu/65e0
  Replies (9) Good night (502) Bad night (1040) Order T-Shirt
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."

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  (773): I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye." http://tfl.nu/jcze
  Replies (2) Good night (612) Bad night (470) Order T-Shirt
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.

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  (678): I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated. http://tfl.nu/ulsy
  Replies (2) Good night (348) Bad night (522) Order T-Shirt

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