p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
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In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
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you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet