im drinking this country out of the recession.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...