Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
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