i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
