you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
