Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
he shaved USA in his pubs
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
