who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize
