We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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