There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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