i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
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