Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
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