I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
operation have a gay friend backfired
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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