Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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