I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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