I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
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I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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