so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
