you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
