She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
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