I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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