i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize
