its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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