i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
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