I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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