new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
