Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.