i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
These 19 People Are Into The Grossest Sex Fetishes
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
People Weigh In On Whether It’s Okay to Bang Your Roommate
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick