Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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