I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Randomize