she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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