I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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