I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
