and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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