i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
