so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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